February 24, 2007

since I work I tape a couple of daytime shows that I can cruise through at night…The View, and Oprah every day ( that is until summer when every day is a repeat of something I have already seen), and today I watched Oprah’s Thursday show on “Best Life” weight loss style. She had her trainer Bob Greene on, and they had selected 6 people who wanted to lose weight. I mention this only because, not only was I once overweight (and according to the experts that were talking I was most likely obsese) but each time I watch a show about losing weight I learn something new about myself. Today it was: “lies we tell ourselves” – for some reason that resonated with me. Now I have been on the lean side of my lifestyle makeover for close to 35 years. That is with one exception 15 years ago or so when I was suffering from CF and had gained about 35 lbs….which I was able to take off over a period of time once my symptoms eased. And I gain and lose the same 5 lbs every year…because I get lazy and I ‘lie’ to myself about the food I put in my mouth.

So, the point is – today I realized that while my basic lifestyle is healthy and I eat reasonably well most days, I LIE to myself at least every day. I purchased Dr. Oz’s book “You on a Diet” because I have about 10-15 pounds that I would really like to shed. It’s the 10-15 pounds of muscle weight that has turned to soft tissue (my term for flab) and I don’t really have the motivation to make it muscle, so I just want it gone. Now, I am not overweight, but then I am a chronic malcontent, and have NEVER liked my body….. but I am now just not interested in spending the 60 minutes/5 days a week lifting weights to get it back. Oh, I exercise, but it is not even close to what I once did….which really was just hiding out at the gym. Now I have a life that is interesting and fun….. Back to the book…basically they ask you to give up ‘white’ – white flour, white rice, white sugar(well there is a lot more, but you get the idea, if not, go buy the book)….the first two are easy….but that small chocolate kiss that I stuff into my face follows the LIE – “ONE WON’T HURT” —– and that’s the lie….because it is never one and it does hurt. Because I end up not trusting my behavior.

So it’s the little lies that establishes on-going behavioral struggles…it isn’t the ‘i can’t lose weight’ or ‘i’m big boned’ or blah, blah, blah….I tell myself that this one little bite won’t hurt – and the next one and the next one and the next one—–soon those little bites add up to the 10 lbs I want to shed….dang! So now I have to decide to either stop lying and tell the truth or accept the weight that I carry and stop all the b.s. ….. it was such a light bulb moment!

And that was true about the cigs I use to smoke, the alcohol I use to drink, the marijuana I once inhaled and the list of other recreational drugs that I would injest….since I stopped telling myself lies around those, life has gotten oh so much better. I am a different person, and my life is really fabulous….for the most part extremely fabulous. But I had to stop telling the lies, at least about the chocolate kisses.

I have started two, no three new needlepoint projects in the past 2-3 weeks. Sometime over the next couple of days I’ll post photos of the projects. Today I got the newest one sewn onto the dowels for it’s frame….I love starting new projects….and no, they are not all the same. One is a rug, another will be a pillow that I will give away, the other is a rather large picture of a clown juggling some balls that I just adore and will frame once it’s done and the last one is a small ornament (one of the 12 days of Christmas designs) that I am planning on appliquing into small red stockings to decorate the hallway with…I’m halfway through the series…

Blessings to you….imagine peace – especially where there is conflict….


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