If I could turn back time…

Daily Prompt

If you could return to the past to relive a part of your life, either to experience the wonderful bits again, or to do something over, which part of you life would you return to? Why?

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Oh, this is an easy one.

I would go back to the year before I graduated from high school and demand a meeting with the high school counselor while screwing up the courage to ask the following: “What do I have to do to go to college? I want to go but have no support from home. HELP!”

You see, I was told I was too stupid to go to college. And I believed them. I took what they said and failed to try harder.

I believed the adults, who were my parents. I was too stupid…guess what? They were wrong.

This is what happens when children are lost. They do not try. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t ask questions. Do NOT tell people our business.

Was my parent’s world a hot mess? Yes. It was. My father, an alcoholic, had lost much of his face to bone cancer five years earlier. He went into hiding, from life, from us, from himself. He drank daily. My mother was in hiding too. She needed support as well. My younger sister was a run-a-away. I was an overweight, depressed and defiant teenager.

Our home was a minefield of dysfunction. I survived. The Universe did not give up on me.

It took 33 years and two self-sabotaged attempts to continue my education. I started with some work related on-line classes through the local community college. When my employer closed our local office I received a nice severance package. I was determined to go back to school and get a degree. I had enough money to pay for 2 years of classes. I worked hard. Each quarter I took courses on campus and on line. One of those was a on-line writing class and the teacher (who I never met in person) submitted my name and work for a state-wide community college award. I was awarded a scholarship of $2000 and a day of recognition with the governor and the other 17 winners. (Two winners from each of the state’s nine community colleges). I believe I was the oldest student there, but it was so worth the effort.

I went on to the university in my town. I graduated two years later; magna cum laude and a degree in liberal arts. My evil twin wanted to bruise those parents with that honors degree. My saner adult self showed up (curses, foiled again) instead.

Had this all been done right out of high school I believe my life would have been totally different. I believe I would have joined the Peace Corps, an organization that I followed over the years. It wasn’t meant to be….but a girl can dream.

And my life turned out just great.

~ Ciao

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2 thoughts on “If I could turn back time…

  1. Sarah

    I’m not sure I would go back and change anything. All of my experiences go into the making of me. They all have value especially the “bad” ones. Those are the ones that have helped me grow and also given me something to share. By the way I started college at age 18 and didn’t get my BA until age 32. Although I now have my Masters degree (age 48) getting that BA remains one of my greatest achievements precisely because I had to overcome so many challenges to get it. Many times after that I could turn to myself and say “Sarah if you could do that, you can get through this”.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

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