Sweaty socks!

Naked with Black Socks

Are you comfortable in front of people, or does the idea of public speaking make you want to hide in the bathroom? Why?

sweatThis topic makes my eyeballs sweat. Public Speaking? <she said in a high, squeaky voice>

It’s not like I haven’t actually spoken in front of people. In fact I have, many, many times. I had to take a communications class to get the necessary credit to transfer from community college to the state university in my city.

I have given presentations for work. Sweaty eyeball moments… <don’t let me pass gas or belch here>. Will this affect pay raises I secretly query…

I have, over the course of time, chaired not one but two (2) women’s luncheons.

The first back in 1980 for about 100 women, then again in 1995 for about 120 women. It was easier the first time…I still had no fear of ‘real’ failure and was filled with ego about having been asked to do this by the founder. HUGE ego boost for sure. The second time I chose to introduce the luncheon concept in the city I had moved to. It was the first one there and hard to get tickets sold and again HUGE ego around Failure (and ultimately how I would be seen by all of the others) should that occur.

It continues today without any assistance/advice/opinion from me.

I have also chaired a three (3) day conference for 1800 people in recovery. That was back in 1981 and it was FUN. And I learned a lot about how to delegate. And I also decided I could forego doing such a task in the future of a similar nature.

[And who doesn’t love being the center of attention. However, as the years have passed my need to be the center of attention has dwindled.]

For me being the focus of attention only serves my ego. If I can be of service by standing before a group of people and provide information that serves them, I would do so.

To do so and be filled with fear (aka eyeball sweating) doesn’t sound like a fun time.

Yet, I do know that if I address the kid named “Fear” and invite her to join me without any activity (thoughts/advice/direction) from her then I would swallow my sense of doom and stand up.

black socksOtherwise, just let me sit over here in the corner, in my black socks and fan myself. <relieved!>

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