Yesterday, (yep on a Sunday) I began another writing class – Pages on Fire it’s called. “Writing the Novel, start to finish” providing me with, hopefully, a process of creating the novel I want to write. This was not my moment of ‘clarity’….just to be clear. My moment was the entire first 2 hours…well, not literally but it was filled with some moments of clarity.
Even through the anxiety-filled few minutes where I had to introduce myself and provide general information about what I am working on currently. Trust me, I know I appeared to be the crazy lady with ADHD…I was all over the place. I didn’t get embarrassed until I got into my car and realized that while I had been anxious I wasn’t the freak show I normally feel I am in those types of situations.
My clarity ‘moment’ if you will was realizing that all of the “creative” things that I have filled my time with for the last 6 months….YES, INSTEAD of writing and thoroughly enjoyable as much as their were – are nothing more than sloth. Pro-cras-ti-na-tion in five syllables -ugh I am LAZY. Which is worse than being unskilled, less talented, unwise…etc.
Our instructor, Lori, was kinder…she named it being ‘disciplined’. I, of course, in my mind – shamelessly switched that to being UN-disciplined. Which, sadly, is true. I am one of those – ‘see that shiny object, let’s follow that….’ and off I go. I frequently post on Facebook about my garden ‘ADD’ practice of yard maintenance….oohhhh, over there’s a weed-a limb to pickup-I’ll plant that new purchase in this pot-lets sow seeds here… otherwise known as easily distracted.
So, to remedy this sad state of affairs — I am going to put into practice something I recently read in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic. I can develop a discipline of daily writing by scheduling in time to write. Like I developed the practice of exercise and meditation. It’s a doctor’s appointment for my internal writer.
I CAN develop a writing practice. I can write every day for a minimum of 30 minutes. I can write to my fears about writing (oh lord, that is an entirely different post) and I can e.x.p.a.n.d the time if I need/want to.
I do not need to leave all my other creative pieces (the gourd design, cooking, meditating, exercise, nature exploration, etc) of my self hidden away until the great american novel <smirk> has been drafted.
AND that, dear friends, was what became clear. Now I just need some water…
Ok….I need coffee.