healthy,______, & wise. check

Today was a good day, God cried tears onto my garden. Then I took the train into town for a writing class. Submitted the first 20 pages of a novel I am writing to a group of other writers who, are,gulped going to be reading and providing critique next week.

Healthy. I think so. In my sixth decade I certainly have fewer issues than some of my  friends. I once weighed over 200#, smoked as if on fire (literally) and consumed vast amounts of liquid pain remover, played pharmacy as a recreational sport and aired wacky tobaccy decades before the laws changed to make it boring to do so now. The daring risk was a small part of the fun and rebellion. Forty years ago I noted my unhealthy lifestyle and gave up meat and paid attention to carbs and sugar – thus eating less of both. Somehow over the course of a year I lost 100 lbs…it stayed off but I had to work at it. Still do. Next the liquid diet of pain medicine ceased…38 years ago tomorrow. Bye bye recreational pharma and the wacky. The real work began 27 years ago when I finally, after 3 earlier attempts, I stopped smoking. So, yes healthy for me. It’s all relative. I have had some surgeries over the years – nothing too bad – I am still here. I am grateful that I can say that now. I have a wee thyroid issue, meds take care of that, I sleep in fits and starts…but I’ve been told that’s normal for someone in my age bracket, my mind is keen and I have the love of a fine man, we walk daily and I have learned that meditation clears my brain of the desire to go ‘postal’ and that I require a spiritual connection to continue living a life free of the bondage of myself.

Wealthy….I am rich in many blessings, the love of a good man, friends and cats. I love to garden, be with nature, get lost in books, and intrepretive danceattempt to find the good even when finding the bad would be so much quicker. I have enough of what I need. What I want is to publish a novel. That I need to work for, be disciplined and to not give up.

WISE? well, it’s all that is left. I wrote the Dear Fear letter. I have already stood in the face of other critiques and been pushed into putting my pen down. That was about seven years ago and I had written a piece on how I had met my spouse. All true, although I had changed the names to protect the innocent. The group unanimously carpet bombed it. The instructor said basically that it wasn’t  “real, could not happen like that. A fairy tale.” Devastated, I didn’t go back. I didn’t write for 3 full years…oh, I blogged our travels, I was a journaller and I wrote small stories in my head but I had allowed others to dictate my voice. That was all I could do at the time.

Today it is different. Today I understand that I have a unique voice, something to say and even if no one reads it …. it will be written. Today I am wiser. If someone takes issue…talk to the hand…

~ Ciao




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