Je suis flawed. Ohmygosh am I ever, Ordinarily so!
Most days I must have a serious conversation with the SheGod of my understanding about the flaws in the world. It’s usually 3 minutes after I climb out bed and I am already trying to figure out what is wrong with the world and my place in it. It’s become my ordinary morning routine. <huge sigh> My flaws are left for after breakfast, or lunch or a good cry.
My list for Her runs the gamut of my emotions about the state of the world I live in along with several billion others — (another mass tragedy? political betrayal?); climate change and how will the polar bears, and/or (fill in the blank) survive; contamination of our food (GMO’s); the slave trade and why isn’t She doing something about the young who are being sold; hunger in America (can you even wrap your brain around that one?); Standing Rock and the destruction of Native American cultural sites, my writing block
and the heart stopping fear that arises when I consider the ramifications of letting that fear ride along with me; the benign tumors in my thyroid; how I truly hate parking my husband’s big-ass truck so I don’t have to back out of a space — I will park in the nose-bleed aisle of a lot and hoof it into whatever store I am going to be visiting and why is She not trying harder to create peace? All of that before coffee and I have an expectation that She needs to check in and get it fixed by 2pm the same damn day. Because I do not want to wake up and repeat this exercise. Yet I do. Because, hmmmm, you know – it’s All about me!
We could take a poll of those who are already up and participating in a regular, wonderful, morning routine of coffee making (the ordinary normal spouse) and the two purr-fect ordinary lap robes (aka Lucy & Charlotte) that are demanding breakfast be served immediately. And that’s just in this house.
I digress. As much as I would love to have a high functioning organ running my life, that was not the outcome at birth. I am flawed AND ordinary. No royal blood flows through (Grace Kelly got there first) me; no lineage to the celebrity chain or serial killers that I am aware of – thankfully.
Just an ordinary human breathing in and out with flaws in my character, justice and peace for all of SheGod’s children and the natural world that we can strive to clean up and save. Grateful to be ordinary…less stress, less fuss and yet still a part of the human race.